Weight of the World
by ApprenticeTrashmen
Summary: Whether it was for better or worse, they just couldn't imagine the world without each other. A series of one shots. Chapter 5: One can only get so bored of a birthday after living for literally centuries on end until reckless little brats change your view of it otherwise.
1. Falling for You

**Hey, I wrote a new thing. To anyone and everyone waiting for the next chapter of my other thing, To Hell and Back, I'm sorry. The wait has been longer than planned. The next one should be up soon though, so hang in there, please.**

 **As far as this one goes, I have been meaning to try a one shot series. They seem fun. I'll just update it whenever I have a short idea. They will probably range in rating, genre, and other characters will probably show, but you can expect all of them to at least focus on Ragna and/or Rachel.**

 **Another shout out to my editor Murder Media for giving this a look.**

 **And of course, I don't own BlazBlue.**

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High on a mountainside, one lone criminal scaled the rock with nothing more than his bare hands. This criminal, none other than the single most famous criminal—Ragna the Bloodedge, was making his way up the mountain at a slow yet steady pace. With his superhuman conditioning, the task wasn't difficult for him, but it was still taking up more than a little of his time. And to make matters worse, at the moment he even found himself without any more boulders to cling on to.

"Damn it…" Ragna muttered as he quickly scanned the rocks above him for a new ledge to climb. When he did manage to spot a small crevice to dig his fingers into a few feet away, he took a deep breath and prepared to leap upwards.

"Alright," he sighed. "One…two… Hup!"

Bracing his hands and feet against the cliff face with his feet, Ragna launched himself high into the air and dug his fingers into the small gap with ease. He then stayed still for a moment and took another breath to stare at the rock, making sure that it was not about to give way.

"Nice…" He sighed with mild relief. He was now more than ready to continue his climb up the mountain, the criminal slightly hoping that no more bothersome obstacles were in his way, but heard a feminine voice congratulate him for his efforts.

"Yes, very well done, Ragna." It said.

"Thanks… Wait, huh?" Craning his head backward, he found himself inches away from the bane of his very existence who proceeded to flutter towards him. "Oh, hey Rachel." He greeted half-heartedly. "What do you want?"

"Why, I have come to observe your little expedition is all." She happily replied. "I must say, Ragna, even the most seasoned climber would be green with envy if they could see you like this now." Rachel grinned as she floated around Ragna. "Nary a piece of equipment to your name to assist you and yet here you are."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You mind? I'm trying to concentrate here." Ragna continued his climb as he did his best to ignore the pesky little rabbit, but saw her merely float up alongside him with little hesitance.

"I would imagine so. You are so very high up that a fall from this height might kill even you—Azure Grimoire or not."

"Jeez, don't just say it like that!" He scolded. The last thing he needed was imagining what it would feel like to drop from such a high distance. Even if he survived, it would still hurt plenty and be a real pain in the ass if he had to climb up the damn mountain once more.

"Why not? It's only true." Rachel floated toward Ragna and leaned on his shoulder before gesturing to look down, prompting Ragna to momentarily stop his ascent. "See? Look."

Without thinking, as he is one to do, Ragna glanced down and was given a reminder of the dizzying heights he had been traversing all day. His stomach dropped at the sight, leaving him a tad shaken considering he has already passed some clouds.

"Y-Yeah!? So, what!? I ain't scared!" He yelled.

"Is that so?" Rachel giggled before drifting back and patting Ragna's shoulder. "I did not say anything about you being scared, Ragna. You doth protest too much."

"Listen, you!" Ragna released his grip with his right hand to turn and point at the snooty vampire, but was unaware that his grip with his left hand was unstable. "It's not like you're some pro climber, so why don't you take your critiques and shove 'em right up your—"

"Ragna."

"What!?"

Rachel smirked, "You're falling."

"I'm wha—WHOA!" Just then the rock his left hand was latched on to broke away and left Ragna pinwheeling his arms. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

His quick reflexes saved his life as Ragna managed to jam his hands back into the rock of the mountain, which rendered him to slide down a few feet.

"I think I just saw my life flash before my eyes..." Ragna panted. He needed a minute to calm himself down, but as soon as his heart reverted back to a steady pace, he whipped his head around to shout at Rachel who was suppressing a laugh. "You think this is funny!? I could've died, you lunatic!"

"My, what a story that would be—Ragna the Bloodedge, the infamous Grim Reaper, found dead at the foot of a mountain because he slipped on some rocks. How the mighty have fallen. Quite literally too!" Rachel continued to laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up! And I didn't slip, it was _your_ fault!"

"Oh, please. No need to be so upset." Rachel floated back toward Ragna to pat him on the back. "If you had actually fallen I would've caught you."

"Tch… Whatever." He sucked his teeth.

"Still upset? I would have thought that you would have developed thicker skin by now." Rachel folded her arms on Ragna's shoulder and rested her chin on them as she continued to tease him.

"Ugh, why are you even still here!? Can't you see I'm busy!?" Ragna's yells echoed.

"Hm, I suppose you are. Well, then…" Rachel floated back once more without another word.

"Finally…" Drinking in the peace and quiet, Ragna reached his right hand up to continue his climb. However, just as his hand gripped the rock, a sudden weight was on his shoulder and something soft pressed against the side of his face. He turned his head to his right to see what it was, but found his face buried in fabric. "H-Huh?"

Craning his head back to see pass the fabric, Ragna saw Rachel sitting on his shoulder looking quite pleased with herself.

"Rabbit!? The hell are you doing!?"

"You said it yourself, Ragna—you are quite busy. So busy in fact that I was tired simply looking at you. I decided to make you my perch so that I may rest."

"If you're so tired then just go home!"

"Go home? But if I were to leave I would miss out on this lovely view, wouldn't you agree?"

"How would I know!? All I can see are rocks and your fat…! Uh, your…" It had slowly dawned on Ragna what was firmly pressing against his head, and he could feel some heat rising to his cheeks. Did Rachel even realize what she was doing?

"Pardon, Ragna? I'm having trouble hearing you over the rushing winds."

"F-Forget it! And don't try to change the subject! Get off!"

"Why? This couldn't possibly be making things difficult for you. Unless… You mean to imply I'm...heavy?" Rachel put an edge to her tone and poked Ragna in the head.

"No, I'm not saying that. You're just in the way, so move!"

"Hmm… No."

"Why not!?"

"Because I have grown quite comfortable here. You may be surprised to hear this, but you actually make a rather comfortable seat. Have some pride in that." Rachel complemented Ragna as she gave his hair a quick pet.

Ragna growled, his patience beginning to wear thin. He hasn't made any progress since Rachel appeared. He nearly took a deadly tumble, and now Rachel was having her fun by making him a freaking chair. Besides that, heavy or not, Ragna was starting to think Rachel really didn't realize having her sitting on his shoulder was incredibly distracting. He wasn't gonna make any progress with her shifting around next to his head like this!

"Rachel, I'm warning you, get off or I'll just have to move you myself!"

"Is that correct, Ragna? Are you really so bone headed to let go again despite your brush with death before?"

"Y-You…!"

"See? Now, simply go back to your climbing and let me enjoy the scenery." Rachel brushed off Ragna as she made a big show of scanning the sights around her.

She was just mocking him now, but he really couldn't argue with her last point. He could yell all he wanted to, and probably will, but he had a few options when it came to actually moving her. He couldn't do anything with his hands, and his feet certainly weren't going to do him much good either, though he supposed if he really wanted to he could throw around a little power with his right hand, but he sure as hell wasn't about to do that. He wanted to move her, sure, but he didn't want to actually hurt her.

Still, she had to move, and he only had one other idea coming to mind.

Turning his attention back to the vampire, Ragna called out her name. "Hey, Rachel!"

"What is it? Have you decided to stop your dawdling?" She teased.

"I'm gonna tell you right now to move your ass or I'll…I'll…"

"Yes?"

"I'll _bite_ it!" Ragna threatened.

"Y-You'll what!?" If nothing else, it was the only thing that caught Rachel off guard. Rachel went wide eyed and visibly flinched at the prospect, however, not a moment later, a sly smile was soon back in place on Rachel's face. "Ha! You will have to do better than that, Ragna. Do you honestly expect me to believe such a weak threat even for a second?"

"I'll do it!" Ragna set Rachel with the most hardened expression he could manage.

"Mmhmm~" Rachel hummed to herself as she turned her attention back to sightseeing.

"Hey, I mean it!"

"I'm shaking in my boots."

"Last warning!"

Rachel only responded by wiggling in place…

To which Ragna responded in turn with his promised bite.

"EEEK!" Faster than Ragna had ever seen her move, Rachel rocketed off of his shoulder with both hands gripping her butt, though she at least had the wherewithal to keep herself from plummeting down the mountain via magic. She floated in place, still trying to mentally process what had just happened as she continued to pat her backside. Rachel whirled on Ragna, shock in her eyes as he stared back with a piece of cloth sticking out between his teeth—a result of Rachel pulling away so suddenly. "Y-You… D-Did you just…!?"

Ragna spat the piece of cloth out of his mouth and growled. "I warned you, didn't I!?"

"Have… _Have you gone mad!?_ " Rachel flew back like a bullet and assaulted the back of Ragna's head with one slap after another.

"Ow! Ow! Hey, knock it off—OUCH!"

"You bit me!? You actually bit me!? You can never, ever complain when I compare you to a dog ever again, do you understand!? _Do you understand!?_ "

"Ow! Yes I—ow! Would you let me—ow! Sorry, dammit, sorry!"

"You…!" Rachel huffed as she slapped Ragna one last time before distancing herself and roughly crossing her arms. "I can't believe that you…that you actually did that!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you don't wanna listen to people's warnings!"

"To think I was foolish enough to give you the credit to believe you would not follow through on such a barbaric threat!"

"Aw, come on, I didn't even bite that hard."

"Enough! I will not hear such excuses! And to think I was even going to teleport you to the top of the mountain for being such a good sport…"

"Y-You were gonna what!?"

"You heard me correct! I hope you enjoy the remainder of your climb, because from what I can see it will continue for some time!"

"W-W-Wait, hold on! Let's not get hasty here!" Ragna pleaded.

"Hmph!" Rachel turned her back on Ragna. "Perhaps I will help you if you were to apologize properly."

"Huh? I already said I'm sorry! Remember? When you were slapping me senseless?"

"If you think that meager excuse for an apology will make up for your transgressions you are even more foolish than I could ever imagined to be possible."

"I'll try again, okay!? I, um… I'm really, really sorry?" Apologies were never exactly Ragna's forte. When he didn't hear a response, he looked over his shoulder only to see Rachel keeping her back to him. He nearly laughed when he saw her tugging on her skirt to keep the hole from showing, but he didn't want to get blasted off the mountain so he held his tongue. "Hey, uh, so I'm super, duper sorry?"

She didn't say anything right away, but Rachel did spin back around to glare daggers at Ragna.

"I am finding this more mocking than apologetic, Ragna. In fact, I might just teleport you back to the bottom to teach you a lesson proper."

"Oh, don't you dare! Jeez, I really am trying, you know?!" Ragna was beginning to sweat. It was rare to actually see her _this_ pissed—she might actually do it.

"No, Ragna, I don't know."

"Well what do you want me to do!? Kiss it and make it better?!" Ragna yelled back, his odd choice of words only worsening Rachel's mood.

"Mongrel! Does your depravity know no bounds!?" The vampire's tone was plenty angry, but her normally pale face was now noticeably redder.

"Huh? What'd I do now?"

Seeing Ragna so ignorant sent Rachel over the edge. Before Ragna knew, the older woman drew her hand backwards one last time and slapping Ragna in the head with all her might, "I hope you fall, Ragna the Bloodedge!"

"GAH!" The final slap was strong enough to shake Ragna's entire body and caused him to lose his grip. "Oh, shit! Not again!"

This time Ragna actually fell from the mountain completely—only saving himself this time by swinging his Blood-Scythe out and driving it into the rock to break his fall, rendering his body to jerk to a stop as he did his best to steady himself.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that one! Get down here and I'll bite the other cheek! You hear me, Rachel?!" Ragna turned his eyes to the sky and looked around, but could not spot the vampire. He tried checking behind him, and even below, but couldn't see her anywhere. "Huh… Guess she really went home."

Sighing to himself, Ragna put his sword back in its holster before getting himself resituated to continue his climb. Looking back up, he noticed he really didn't fall that far. It was a distance he should be able to cover again in just a minute or so, which lessened his anger greatly. He probably owed Rachel another apology for when he saw her next time despite the fact he did not want to so, but he could feel it in his gut that he screwed up. He didn't know much about women, but something told him that they were pretty sensitive about their butts. He guessed he'll just have to find a way to make it up to her.

There was still one thing that was bothering him though.

When she was sitting on his shoulder, when she was wiggling around, and when he rubbed his face against her to take a bite it was like there was more…meat than he was expecting. Like she had a real big…

With his mind elsewhere, he couldn't help but lose his grip once more.

"SHIT!"

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 **There you go. I hope you enjoyed it. Review if you like.**


	2. Fool's Mate

**An older idea of mine, and after putting it on paper, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.**

 **I do not own BlazBlue.**

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"So bored~" Rachel loudly sighed as she set her book down and rolled over to look Ragna in the eye. The pair were sprawled out on the couch in one of Rachel's living rooms, and as comfortable as it was, the novelty was beginning to wear thin.

"Hm? That right?" Ragna peaked an eye open to look down at the older woman. She may have grown weary of laying around and relaxing, but Ragna personally didn't mind with the right kind of company—namely hers. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Why don't _you_ think of something? I count on you to entertain me, you know?" Rachel pouted and pinched Ragna's cheek. He grumbled a bit to himself, but complied anyway. Sitting up on the couch, and pulling Rachel with him, Ragna stretched his limbs as he pondered Rachel's question. The steady rain outside the window caught his eye.

"If you wanna cool it with the showers we could probably find something to do in the garden." Ragna offered.

"No, not yet. I want the rose garden and pond to be freshly watered for at least another hour." Rachel replied.

"Mm, yeah, I hear ya. The frogs would probably be pretty bummed…" Ragna commented. Rachel had always made a point to take extra care of the family of frogs that lived in a pond out in her garden. Ragna had to admit it was pretty cute how Rachel liked them so much. Still, wasn't gonna do much good to keep her entertained for the moment. "Here, scoot."

Prompting her to move with a light pat to her thigh, Rachel shifted off of Ragna's lap and let him get to his feet. There had to be something lying around this dusty old castle they could use for fun, Ragna figured. Strolling over to one of the cabinets, the criminal pulled the doors open to poke around inside. He moved things around as gently as possible, seeing as he didn't want to break anything of Rachel's and incur her wrath. It didn't take long for Ragna to spot something peaked his interest.

"Hey, how about this?" Sliding the box out of the cabinet, Ragna glanced over his shoulder and held it out for Rachel's approval.

"My father's chess set?" Rachel blinked in surprise.

"Sure, why not? A couple games should be able to eat up some time, right?" Ragna reasoned.

"I…suppose so. Very well, bring the set to me. Do well to handle it with care as well." Rachel reminded Ragna.

"Yes, ma'am." Ragna walked back across the room and set the box down on the coffee table in front of Rachel.

"There we are." Rachel smiled as she opened up the box containing her father's chess set. It had actually been some time since she last saw the pieces. When she was younger, she used to play with father quite often as well as Valkenhayn on occasion. She took a second to muse how she had never once managed to beat her father, but their constant matches made her rather exceptional at the game.

As she was careful with all of her late father's possessions, Rachel took her time setting up the board much to the tangent of her lover.

"C'mon, already Rachel. I'm growing old over here." Ragna whined.

"Hm? Oh yes, I think I can see it now. Your hair is stark white!" Rachel feigned shock and ruffled his hair.

"Tch, smartass." Ragna clicked his tongue as he leaned back in his spot on the couch out of her reach.

"In all honesty I am surprised, Ragna." Rachel commented as she put the pieces where they belonged. Rachel had given Ragna the white pieces so that he may go first. "I would never have thought you would be interested in partaking in a game of chess with me."

"Yeah? And why is that?"

"Well…it is just that… Do you even know the _names_ of the pieces?" Rachel asked tentatively.

"Of course I do! I played a couple of games with Kagura before, okay?" Ragna barked back. Though despite his confidence, he still took a minute as he picked up a piece and turned it over in his hand. "Hey, uh, remind me—what does the horse do, again?"

"That is a knight." Rachel replied without even looking.

"Looks like a horse to me… Well, whatever. What's it do?"

"The knight moves on an extended diagonal from one corner of any two to three rectangle of squares to the furthest opposite corner." Rachel explained easily from memory.

"…Right, silly me." Ragna mumbled as he set the piece down. Eager to change the subject, Ragna picked up another piece. "I like this one—the castle, yeah?"

"That is a rook." Rachel said, once again without looking.

"You're pulling my leg, right? This is totally a castle." Ragna said as he waved the piece around.

Rachel snatched the piece out of Ragna's hand.

"Rook." She repeated as she poked Ragna in the nose with the 'castle' before putting it back where it belonged. He wasn't the brightest, but his antics were making Rachel smile.

Still, Ragna chastised himself lightly for having struck out twice. Seeing as Rachel was still taking great care to set the board up properly, Ragna continued to find ways to distract himself. Another piece caught his eye in a funny way so he picked up what was known as a bishop.

"Hey…" Ragna began. "You know, this one kinda looks like a—"

"Don't." Rachel interrupted.

"You don't even know what I was gonna say."

"Yes, I do. Don't." Rachel repeated as she took the bishop out of his hand. His befuddled ignorance she could stand—enjoy even, but she wasn't about to humor his crude jokes.

Meanwhile, Ragna kept on simmering. Okay, so _maybe_ he didn't exactly know all the pieces, but could you blame him? It's not like he was just tripping over chess sets in his daily life. Despite that, he knew he would get the next one right for sure.

Picking up two ornate looking pieces, one in each hand, Ragna held them up with a cocky grin.

"Alright, alright I got this one. _This_ one is the king, and _this_ is the queen."

"Actually…" Rachel began as she reached out and switched the pieces between his hands. " _This_ one is the king, and _this_ one is the queen."

"…Fuck you."

Ragna's expression dropped as he glared at the two pieces in his hands. Rachel, bless her kind heart, actually had the decency to suppress her giggles behind her hand.

"Come now, Ragna, no need to take it so seriously. Look, I have the board set and ready for our match. Would you, perhaps, like a…reminder of what the pieces do?"

"F-Forget it. Let's just play." Ragna replied. The moves were easier to remember, Ragna reasoned with himself. Well, at least aside from the horse.

"Very well then. You have the white pieces so the first move is yours, Ragna." Rachel said.

"Right, let's see here…" Ragna muttered as he stroked his chin. Now, he was by no means a master and Rachel was probably going to win, but Ragna was going to show her he could at least hold his own. He scanned the pieces, thinking how to make his first move, but decided not to worry about it. Not like the first move was all that critical or anything, right? "How 'bout this?"

Ragna grabbed a random pawn, the third from the right, and moved it one space forward.

"Pawn to e5." Rachel said as she made her move in the blink of an eye.

"H-Huh!?" Ragna stammered out. No sooner than his fingers left his piece was Rachel already finishing her turn. Ragna's gaze shot up to look at Rachel, but as expected she sat there passively without a hint of expression on her face—save the small smile that formed when their eyes met.

Unlike Rachel, who was cool as a cucumber, Ragna was getting pretty frazzled. He knew Rachel was smart, likely the smartest person he ever met, but that was still _really_ fast! It was as if she knew the move he was going to make even though he just picked it at random. Alright, so maybe the first move was slightly more important than he gave it credit for, but he wouldn't make that mistake again. Leaning in to look over the pieces, Ragna began considering his options a little more. He didn't have many choices as things were. He could always just pick another pawn, although a horse would work too. He steadily reached his hand out and let it hover over a piece, but abruptly brought his hand back when his eyes met Rachel's again.

"No need to rush yourself, Ragna. This game is only for fun, after all." Rachel said.

"I-I know! I just…changed my mind, is all." Ragna rationalized. He told himself he had to relax. Like Rachel said, this game was for fun. Besides, it wasn't like this next move would be his last. So long as he could take a couple of Rachel's pieces he would call it a moral victory.

Reaching his hand back out, Ragna grabbed the pawn that was second from the right and moved it two paces forward.

There, let's see how fast she—

"Queen to h4… Oh!" Rachel blinked a moment after realized what she just did. "Checkmate."

"What!? Are you kidding me!?" Ragna shrieked.

"Not at all. Look, there is my queen's direct path to your king. Your king also happens to be boxed in by your own pieces, and thus is unable to move." Rachel explained as she pointed at the board. "So, once again, checkmate."

"I mean… How is that even possible!?" Ragna was flabbergasted. He didn't win any of his previous games with Kagura either, sure, but he didn't think a game that short was possible.

"Actually, Ragna, this is referred to as a _Fool's Mate_." Rachel spoke up. "It is the shortest possible game in chess, with both players only making two moves each. However, I must admit I have never seen the such a game play out in person. Well done!" Rachel didn't even bother hiding this laugh.

"Screw you, rabbit!" Ragna yelled, with his face as red as his trademark coat now. He felt so embarrassed part of him wanted to just kick that coffee table out of his sight, but he could luckily smother the impulse. Instead, he just crossed his arms and pouted.

"Oh, my poor baby~" Rachel cooed as she wrapped her arms around Ragna and pulled him close to nuzzle against him. "No need to be so down, Ragna. I have played this game a good deal in my life, while you have only participated in a few games yourself, correct?"

"…Yeah." Ragna mumbled.

"And besides, you did exactly what I asked you to do. You've done wonders for my mood, Ragna, just as you always do." Rachel punctuated her point with a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Mmm…" Ragna hummed, unable to really stay all that mad. Extra affection aside, he supposed a little embarrassment was worth brightening up Rachel's day. "Alright, sure, you win."

Rachel situated herself in Ragna's lap and tapped her chin inquisitively. "You know, Ragna, if you like I could teach you how to play chess properly. We can have you practice on other opponents and when you are ready you can try your hand at me once more. What do you think?"

"Hm… Alright, let's do it! You're on, Rachel!"

Later that day, once the rain was quelled, the pair moved out to the garden while Rachel taught Ragna the finer points of chess. She then pulled George the Thirteenth from the pond to be Ragna's opponent, to which Ragna assumed was Rachel's idea of a joke…

Yet defying all odds, George was still victorious.

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 **Thanks for reading and review if you like.**


	3. Hotel Hijinks

**Anyone think I forgot about this one? Nope. Just have a job.**

 **As always, don't own BlazBlue.**

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The life of the most wanted criminal in all of history wasn't always a glamorous one as shocking as that may be to believe. You always had to look over your shoulder, sneak through less than favorable areas most of the time, and openly moving around in public for any reason was basically begging to get jumped. The fighting itself wasn't a problem, naturally, but it was a pain to have to clean other people's blood off your clothes constantly. At least he was gifted a _red_ coat by his master. However, more than any of that, Ragna missed having a regular damn bed to sleep in. He had grown fond of camping to an extent, just as Jubei assured him he would, but there was absolutely no beating the simple comfort of a bed. So many people took for granted how they didn't have to find shelter every night from the elements, or worry about what creatures might try to disturb them, or have to use a piece of cardboard as a blanket.

Definitely not Ragna's proudest moment there.

For all these reasons and more, the world class criminal just didn't feel like bunkering down in an alleyway for yet another night in a row. Which is why he found himself craning his neck to stare up at the most ridiculous and overblown hotel he had ever seen in his life. The tower had to be over one hundred stories tall and if the inside was as half as nice as the outside, it was surely the place to be. A technically homeless guy such as himself could never dream of even setting foot in the lobby for more than a few minutes. Hell, Ragna didn't think anyone aside from the obnoxiously rich like Kagura could afford a single snack from the minibar, let alone an actual room.

Luckily, Ragna had certain…methods he figured could swing him a room.

He strolled right up the steps with confidence, a young man holding the door greeted Ragna with a curt bow. The man seemed tense, perhaps recognizing who was waltzing pass him, but at least suspicious by a less than well off looking individual. Still, Ragna paid him no mind and continued through the lobby unabated. The place really was top notch, the criminal would have to admit. Whoever built the place clearly spared no expense—as evident by such features as the big ass chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Though even the more standard fixtures such as the front desk were more gussied up than the entirety of some other hotels he had crashed in.

The douche at the front desk looked like he had a thousand platinum dollars in his uniform, too.

Eat your heart out, Valkenhayn.

"Good evening, sir, and welcome to the Grand. How may I help you?" The man at the desk greeted Ragna as he walked up. While the words he spoke were polite enough, there was a clear inflection in his tone that said he didn't think Ragna belonged there.

And boy was he in for a surprise.

"You got a room here with my name on it." Ragna said, leaning one arm on the desk, acting like he owned the place.

"Mm, I see… Well, sir, I will need you to provide a proper photo ID so I may locate your room in our system then." The man probably believed himself to be calling Ragna's bluff. Probably planned on calling the NOL the first chance he got.

"Sure thing." The criminal spoke casually as he dug a hand in his back pocket. "I think this should do it."

In a flash, Ragna produced a piece of paper and slapped in on the counter for the man to see. The picture was as completely off the mark as it ever was, but the message itself was still loud and clear. It didn't take long for the truth to dawn on the hotel attendant either. As soon as he looked at the wanted poster all of the color drained from his face and he broke out in a cold sweat. His breath hitched in his throat as he slowly turned his teary eyes up to look at Ragna who gave him a sharp grin in response.

"Y-You…y-you're…"

"So? My room…?" Ragna leaned in as he let a threatening edge sink into his voice.

"Y-Yes! Of course! My…my sincerest of apologies for the delay, uh, sir! I need but a moment to get your key for you!" The man stumbled back, his shaky legs barely supporting him, as he reached for the container holding the keycards for rooms.

"Pretty sure I had a penthouse reserved. Just sayin'." Hey, if he was getting a free room for the night then he might as well get the best room in the house, right? Go big or go home, as they say.

"Right! That went without saying, sir!" The hotel staff member yelped, dropping one keycard he already grabbed in favor of another. "Only the best room in the house for you, sir!"

The man practically tripped over himself as he held the card out a full arm's length away for Ragna to take, who then took a second to regard the man. The guy seemed like he was on the verge of passing out. Either that, or pissing himself. Based on the first impression, he was probably just another high society jerk, but Ragna figured he could at least set the guy at ease somewhat. Let him know his life was in no _immediate_ danger.

"Look, pal, trust me when I say I don't want any trouble here either. All I want is a place to sleep for the night. As long as you don't go and do anything stupid then no one will even know I was here. Am I being clear enough for ya?" Ragna was speaking calmly now.

"I…I… Yes, I understand, sir… Thank you, sir." The man said, but he didn't look any better.

"There, that so hard?" Ragna snagged the card before stepping back from the counter, making the man flinch. "Trust me, so long as you keep this to yourself I will be out of your hair before you know it."

"A-Alright…thank you very, very much…"

With that, Ragna turned and walked away. At this point he figured he could just quietly hold up in his room for the rest of the night. He was already getting a free stay in one of the nicest hotels in the entire world. He didn't want to cause any more trouble than he already had to. It would be simply to play the model hotel guest, he mentally told himself.

Yet, on the other hand…

"You know," Ragna came to a stop without turning back, earning a yelp from the hotel attendant. "I could just _kill_ for a good steak right about now…"

"A-Ah! S-Say no more, sir! I will see to it that you get the finest steak we have to offer!" The man stuttered out, already fumbling with his phone.

"Perfect." Ragna waved as he continued on his way. "You're the best, Jeeves."

With that, the criminal made a B-line to the elevator and called it down with the press of a button. Stepping inside once it showed, he gave his card a quick glance and pushed the button for floor one hundred and fifty—the top floor. Now this was one tall ass tower, Ragna thought to himself. Would be a hell of a view once he got to the top, too. Part of him, the little devil on his shoulder, was saying he could probably get away with staying for a couple nights and just enjoy himself. He knew better though. Aside from not being the smartest tactical decision to hang around in one place too long, he did have _some_ semblance of a conscience instilled in him during his childhood. At least when he reflected on these less than savory actions of his he could just imagine Jubei shaking his head in disappointment. Likely give him a hard swat to the back of the head while he was at it. So as long as he wasn't a total dirt bag, he would stick to limiting this sort of behavior.

At least for the most part.

The ding of the elevator interrupted Ragna's pondering of his moral ambiguity and he continued on his way forward without a second thought. Giving his keycard another glance, Ragna made his way down the hall more than ready to drop into an honest to goodness bed for a change. Just as he spotted his door, Ragna also noticed a young man in a bellhop uniform frantically pushing a full cart from the other end of the hall. There was just no way, the criminal thought to himself.

"Hey, is that for me?" Ragna called out, which prompted the bellhop to look up and visibly jump when he saw who was addressing him.

"Uh, y-yes! Yes, sir! Definitely you!" He stammered as he backed up a bit with his palms as if to say he didn't want any trouble.

"Goddamn, you guys don't screw around. Here, lemme just…" Ragna said as he went digging into his pocket for a few bucks. Yeah, so he wasn't totally broke. He always liked to hold on to a little bit of money for special occasions, and considering the staff actually managed to meet him at his room he figured that much earned the boy a small tip. That was, until he sensed a presence in his room. A very familiar one, too. "On second thought, go ahead and clear out, kid. And make sure everyone knows to steer clear of my room tonight. Got that?"

"Y-You got it, sir! Enjoy your stay!" The bellhop nodded rapidly as he turned tail and hauled it back the way they came.

Alone for a second, Ragna grumbled as he grabbed the cart and readied his card. He really shouldn't be surprised about this latest turn of events, he told himself. He just wasn't allowed a single peaceful night, was he? Yet there was no sense in beating around the bush, so he swiped his card to unlock the door and walked inside to greet his very unscheduled visitor.

"Quite the room you have found for yourself, Ragna."

"Rachel…what are you doing here?" Ragna sighed at the older woman's antics while pulling off his gloves, his cart of food already forgotten as he pushed it off to the side. It was so like her to pop up out of thin air like this. Although, the black nightgown that was loosely draped across her body wasn't something she would usually leave the castle with. Hell, she would barely leave her own room with in such an outfit.

"I hardly need a reason to come see you, but I'm sure if you really pushed yourself you could figure it out all on your own." The vampire teased as she fanned out her long, silken hair. The signature 'rabbit ears' that normally held her hair in place were nowhere to be seen—something she only did when relaxing in the evening or when she had other more… _adult_ activities on the mind.

Ragna pondered her words a second as he removed his sword from his hip and kicked off his shoes, "Yeah, alright, I'll give ya that one." There really was only one reason she would pop up in his ill-gotten hotel room wearing such a lacey number and lay about with on hand propping up her head and the other on her hip for maximum seductiveness. He was no genius, but it certainly didn't take one to figure out what the heiress of the Alucard house had running through her head.

"Now that we have the obvious out of the way, I too have a question for you, boy." Her tone shifted from one of pure playfulness to one with a minor tinge of annoyance, but Ragna paid it no mind in particular as he crossed the room. He had a feeling where things were heading, however his attention was already being pulled elsewhere. The place really was nice as all hell, the man thought to himself. Features like a massive wall mounted tv, fully stocked bar, and furnished sitting area redefined what Ragna thought of hotel rooms. Though there was plenty of junk by his standards too. The oversized dresser against the wall stood out to him.

Who brought _that_ many clothes with them on vacation?

But he put those thoughts aside for the time being.

"Shoot." Was the criminals lax reply, more preoccupied with shirking off his heavy coat and letting it drop to the floor so he could start unbuttoning his shirt.

"Even as nice as this room may be, why would you choose to spend a night in a hotel? If it's a bed you want then you know the gates of my castle are always open to you." Rachel questioned, peering back over her shoulder to regard Ragna with genuine intrigue in her voice.

"Yeah, your castle is great and everything, but it ain't exactly easy to sleep over there. Having a moon twenty-four seven really screws with my internal clock, you know? Besides…" Ragna tossed his shirt to the side as he leaned his forearm against the massive window that made up one whole wall of his penthouse suite. He could see the entire city laid out before him sparkling like a starry sky. "I'm almost positive you mess around with the clocks to trick me into hanging around longer." Ragna cast an accusing glance the vampire's way with his reflection.

"…You can prove _nothing_." Rachel pouted, turning her nose up at the mere suggestion. Ragna to chuckle at her behavior. He could catch her red handed and she still wouldn't give up an inch.

Always the sly, little minx.

"But the main reason I came here was because I need some actual sleep for a change, Rach. I mean, let's face it, the last thing I'm usually doing at your castle is sleep."

Rachel rolled to her back and lazily kicked her legs in the air. "Oh, woe is you. Your absolutely gorgeous lover sometimes keeps you up a tad late in her king-sized bed within her massive estate as her butler prepares meals around the clock. You poor, poor man. The world weeps for you, Ragna."

"Such a little shit…" Ragna groaned as he rubbed his weary eyes. She could go from total ice queen to the most spoiled princess so fast it would give a regular person whiplash. She was so lucky that he didn't know how to say no to her needs. And more importantly had the stamina to back it up. Still, nothing was stopping him from taking things at his own pace. He gave a quick stretch before turning to lean his back against the window with his arms crossed, and eyes still glued to the cityscape. "Would it kill ya to relax for a night? Take in this nice view?"

Rachel blinked, rolling on her stomach to face Ragna's way. The city was alright, she supposed, but it wasn't the sight she was happy to be drinking in. It was the image of Ragna leaning against the window that caught her fancy. His eyes were half lidded and his mouth was just ever so slightly open as he breathed, which caused a steady rise and fall of his chest. It made him look so calm, so serene in her eyes. It was rare but it made Rachel happy to see him like this. She knew better than anyone how tightly wound he always is, and his gripes aside, she also knew the only time he really let his guard down was when he was at her castle. Though, to his point, she also did enjoy the way the city illuminated his body from where she was sitting. Seeing his shirtless form was also stirring up her hunger for him even more. Oh yes, she was hardly throwing in the towel now. He was sure to get all the precious sleep he wanted and then some after she was done with him, she reasoned.

"Yes, the view is lovely…" Rachel conceded, her voice trailing off as she propped herself up on one hand. "Though it would be even nicer if you would step closer and allow me a better look."

Ragna glanced out of the corner of his eye at the vampire giving him _the look_ from her spot on the bed and had to suppress a grin. Yeah, he knew what he was doing. Rachel wasn't the only one who was able to play the tease. Sure, he didn't have the finesse and nuisance his older lover had, but it didn't take much from him to tease her back he eventually came to realize. Just hanging around shirtless like he did the trick to put Rachel in _that_ mood easily enough. Not that he had to do even that much considering that was Rachel's intent from the start. He figured she was starting to get frustrated by this point, too.

Well, good, Ragna decided. If she wanted to disturb his sleep for yet another night then he deserved to play with her for a bit.

Pushing off from the window, Ragna made his way toward the bed with a slight saunter in his movements. Rachel's smile widened with each step he took and she shifted her body so she was once again laying properly on the bed with one hand propping up the side of her head. The vampire used her free hand to pat the empty side of the bed once Ragna came to a stop—inviting him to finally join her. His eyes lingered on her body, her lacy lingerie and ample curves already breaking down his resolve to abstain for just minutes longer as he knew would happen. The criminal kept his eyes off Rachel for that very reason. He was never able to control himself whenever she wore anything the slightest bit revealing even after all this time. Not like it was his fault, though.

She looked damn good, and she knew it.

But he still had a little bit of spite left in him.

Making a big show of yawning, Ragna turned his back to Rachel mid-stretch, instantly putting a frown on the older woman's face. He didn't see it, but he knew. Moving comically slow as if he were an old man, Ragna began undoing the buttons on his pants. Plenty funny to Ragna, but Rachel was not amused. The woman tapped her fingers against the bed, not in the slightest bit entertained that her lover was doing his best impression of a feeble old geezer. Still, when the pants dropped, Rachel had to fight down a small grin.

Ragna wasn't the only one in the relationship that appreciated a fine derrière.

Just as he was bending down to tug the pants off his feet, Ragna felt a quick pinch to his rear that made him bolt upright with the smallest yelp. Shooting a look over his shoulder, he was met with a cat like grin and a wink from his woman. Well that figures, the criminal thought to himself. Even when he was the one being a tease for a change, she still had to one up him. There was no chance he would be budging the queen from her throne, he supposed and once he kicked his pants away and finally flopped onto the bed.

If there was one thing that could not be denied, it was that the bed lived up to the hype promised by the rest of the hotel's atmosphere. It was comfy, that was for damn sure. Though it admittedly did not quite stack up against Rachel's personal bed, but he was hardly picky. It beat a patch of grass or the pavement of an alleyway and that's what really mattered. Shifting and snuggling in place, Ragna stretched his arms one last time before settling them behind his head with a satisfied groan and let his eyes drift shut.

Which simply wouldn't do, Rachel thought.

Deciding it was time to put an end to Ragna's little game, the vampire crawled the short distance between them to drape herself across his exposed chest.

"Ragna~" Rachel purred. "What's wrong?" She punctuated her question with a kiss to his cheek followed by another and another as she moved down to his neck.

"I already told ya, baby, I'm tired." But Ragna's voice was the furthest thing from stern as he couldn't so much as keep the grin off his face. Though he did manage to keep his eyes closed.

"Oh? Too tired to even pay any attention to me?" Rachel whispering into Ragna's ear sent a shiver down his spine, and he certainly couldn't hide that. The criminal peaked an eye open to regard the vampire. She was tucked against him, one leg wrapped around one of his own as she lazily massaged his chest and gave him the textbook definition of bedroom eyes.

Now how could any man say no to that?

* * *

Ragna woke the next morning to a particularly annoying banging against the door of his hotel room. It just had to be a dream, he reasoned as he fought to keep his eyes screwed shut. All the staff knew damn well who was staying in the room, so there was no way anyone would dare wake him up. Not unless they had a death wish, of course. It would die down before long and he could spend all the time he wanted in dream land.

"Ragna…oh, Ragna~" An angelic voice sang to him. Yes, very dreamlike indeed. However, the sharp pinch to his cheek was not in the slightest bit dreamlike. "Up and at 'em as they say, you lazy oaf. Be quick to see who it is making that awful racket so I may return to my slumber."

The criminal's eyes finally snapped open, immediately displeased with the amount of sunlight pouring into the room, and faced the woman next to him. Rachel was clinging to his side just as she was when he knocked out for the night, clearly a bit peeved to be woken up, but aside from slightly tussled hair she looked the same as always. That was nothing new, though. She always woke up looking fully rested. One of the perks of being a vampire, he supposed.

Lucky little shit.

"Mornin' to you too…" Ragna groaned. At least _someone_ got to enjoy their rest.

"How you could even sleep through all that knocking is beyond me." Rachel said as she detached herself from her young lover, clearly indicating it was time for him to get up and solve the problem.

And seeing as it was too early to argue he did just that.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Ragna gave his neck a quick crack before stretching out the rest of his limbs. He had to hand it to his little vampire, she sure knew how to wear him the hell out. When they were finished with each other he felt like he could sleep for days. Well, if he could actually go undisturbed for a change. For now, he had issues to address, or more specifically find out what nut job would dare disturb him. Rising to his feet, Ragna made his way around the bed while gazing out of the corner of his eye at the cityscape. Not as impressive during the day, the criminal decided, but the sunrise wasn't too shabby either.

But there was no dwelling on the sights as some pain in the ass kept up the steady racket at the door.

"This is probably your fault, you know." Ragna yawned as stepped forward.

Hearing him speak made Rachel perk up a bit. "Is that so? What ever gave you that idea?" She questioned, rising on her elbow.

"Well, seeing as a certain someone couldn't keep a lid on it last night I'm guessing it's a noise complaint." Ragna knew best that despite being rather soft spoken normally, his vampire sure had a set of lungs on her. Probably woke up half the damn hotel.

"I believe most men would take that as a compliment." Rachel grinned without an ounce of shame in her voice.

Ragna rolled his eyes as he reached out for the door knob. "Yeah, yeah, I hear ya already! What the hell do you w—WHOA!"

The criminal's angry tirade was cut short as a large man in a blue uniform tackled him at the waist and knocked them both into the hotel room right by the foot of the bed. More men, all soldiers of the NOL, were quick to flood the room and assist in pinning Ragna to the ground. They wasted no time to grab his arms and legs as others stood by with weapons drawn just in case. One man in particular stepped forward with a sword pointed at the writhing pile of soldiers trying to restrain the struggling Ragna.

"SS-Class criminal Ragna the Bloodedge! You are wanted for multiple counts of murder, trespassing, property damage, theft and other various heinous acts! For these actions were hereby place you under—"

"Really? You devise a plan to capture the most dangerous man in the world who has already claimed hundreds of your men and you believe you can subdue him with a tackle?" Rachel, who had crawled to the edge of the bed still wrapped in a blanket, addressed the apparent commanding officer of the operation. "It's no wonder you haven't been able to capture Ragna after all this time."

The officer had to do a double take. "A… A woman? Hey, we have a civ—"

The Librarian was cut off once more when a roar of effort from Ragna was instantly followed by one of the soldiers pinning him being kicked into the air and getting embedded in the ceiling from the shoulders up. With a limb free, Ragna was able to thrash around enough to knock the rest of his attackers away and send them retreating back the way they came. Weapons were at the ready as the criminal dragged himself to his feet, though they all looked less than confident.

Ragna, on the other hand, looked livid.

"Oh, you are gonna get it!" He stomped forward and when the commanding officer attempted to take a swing with his sword, he easily batted it aside with the flick of his wrist and in the same motion grabbed a handful of the officer's hair. With a quick twist of his hips, and with no effort at all Ragna yanked the soldier off his feet and spun around, throwing him across the room and clear through the window.

"Dear me, and we are rather high up, aren't we?" The Alucard heiress said aloud to no one in particular.

The show of force shook up the remaining troops, and when Ragna turned back to them some even screamed and fled the room entirely. Take on down and they always fall in line, the criminal had discovered some time ago.

"Where ya going, guys!? You bastards call that room service!?" Completely enraged now, Ragna dug his fingers into that obnoxiously large dresser and lifting clear over his head. "At least take the laundry, assholes!" The remaining soldiers were clever enough to see what was coming and cleared out of the room before Ragna hurled the dresser in their direction. The resulting impact smashed the wall and barricaded the NOL officers out of the room.

Ragna stood there breathing heavy, half temped to throw himself through the wall and chase them down one by one.

"You know…" Rachel suddenly speaking up snapped Ragna out of his blind fury. "Surprise attack or not, I am a tad surprised they kept you down as long as they did. Losing our touch, are we?"

Ragna clicked his teeth at that. "Yeah, right. It had nothing to do with the fact I was up the majority of the damn night. That, and…I can barely feel my legs, okay?"

"See? _I'm_ taking that as a compliment." The vampire's grin could not be smugger.

"Would just zip it already!?" The criminal barked as he started searching the room. "And you're gonna wanna get your shit and clear out. There is no way they sent a group that small after me. More are gonna be up here any minute. Where are my pants!?"

"I believe they landed somewhere behind the bar." Rachel responded as she too finally got out of bed, peeling the blanket away from her body and straightening out her hair.

Ragna was quick to jump behind the counter of the bar and drop out of sight. "Found 'em!" He called out a second later as he stood back in to view. With his pants back on, he moved to step away from the bar but instead he paused. Without so much as blinking, Ragna snagged a random bottle of liquor before smashing it against the rest of the shelf, effectively destroying the entire stock.

"And what ever possessed you to do that?" Rachel raised an eyebrow in question.

"Time to cost this damn hotel some money." Vengeance was a dish best served immediately, that was his motto. He punched the tv as he moved to collect his belt and sword while he was at it. "If I ever see that douche at the desk again I'm gonna knock his teeth in. The bellhop too. Might as well get the doorman while I'm at it. Screw it, complimentary ass kicking's all around!"

"Do you really think you have time to brutalize the staff with the NOL likely surrounding this building as we speak?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Guy can dream, can't he? But speaking of, you better hurry up. I ain't in the mood for a slaughterhouse so I'm gonna hightail it out of here." The criminal said, strapping his sword into place at his waist.

"Very well. I will only need but a moment to freshen up."

"Good…" It took a moment for Ragna to register what the vampire said as she waltzed toward the bathroom. "Wait, what?"

Rachel paused, leaning against the doorframe to face Ragna. "Don't tell me you expect me to participate in your daring escape in such a state as this?" She said, gesturing to her body.

"Why are you staying at all!? Just teleport!"

"But what would be the fun in that, Ragna?" The Alucard heiress fully turned to regard the man as she crossed her arms. "You see, while I have watched you 'work' plenty of times, I have never seen it firsthand. I think it would be rather thrilling, and as such I will be joining you for today."

The criminal mashed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"You can't make sense for one damn day, can you… Fine! Whatever, but let's go already! I'm not waiting for you!"

"Oh? So, you just have your way with me and then leave me at the mercy of your pursuers? Is that really all I'm worth to you? Such cruelty! I thought there was something special between you and I, Ragna!" Rachel cried out the fakest cry possible as she wiped away tears that didn't exist.

"I…! You…!" Yet somehow it still worked to guilt Ragna just enough. "They are gonna be here any minute you know!"

"Well then, be a man and hold them at bay for a moment. As I already said, I must freshen up." Still fully intending to do as she pleased, Rachel flipped her hair and turned her back on Ragna once more.

"Why you little…!" Ragna growled. First, she took over his night (though he wasn't complaining _too_ much) and now she was expecting to do the same to his morning? While he is under attack? She had better think again, Ragna decided. In one fell swoop, the criminal rushed across the room, scooped up his coat, wrapped it around Rachel and threw her over his shoulder like she was a bag of flour. The vampire landed on her stomach facing the opposite way from Ragna. Once she had her bearings she pushed up against Ragna's back, struggling against his arm that kept her pinned, as she attempted to face him.

"What on Earth do you think you're doing!?"

"I'm doing things _my_ way!" No more explanation was needed as Ragna lifted his foot up and slammed in back into the ground, causing the pair to fall right through the floor. Before the dust even settled, Ragna strode forward and ripped the door to this new hotel room off its hinges. Peeking his head out, he made sure the coast was clear. They surely heard the sound of him smashing through an entire floor, but with a bunch of nervous soldiers running up to the floor above him, Ragna figured he would at least get a head start in his escape. Seeing no Librarians around, the criminal tightened his grip on his little passenger and took off down the hall.

"And what exactly is your play, boy?" Rachel questioned at a normal speaking voice.

"If I could just sneak pass the bulk of them, I should be able to plow through the rest no problem. After I hit the streets they will never catch me." Ragna explained in a whisper as he peered around another corner. "And would you keep it down!?"

"What's the magic word~?" The vampire sang, still making no attempt to lower her voice. She was actually louder if anything.

" _Bitch_!"

"How rude!" Rachel gave Ragna's shoulder a slap that of course did nothing to him. However, when she heard soldiers nearby a new means of retribution came to mind. She cleared her throat. "Help me! Oh, help me! The nasty, terrible Ragna the Bloodedge is making off with me! Won't someone help me?!" She knew her 'damsel in distress' performance was flawless.

And it made Ragna go wide eyed. "What do you think you're—"

"Hey, I think I heard someone call for help this way!" A voice likely belonging to an NOL operative was heard from down the hall.

The criminal spat a curse as he flattened his free shoulder against the nearest door. "Rabbit, would you shut your damn—"

"If only a daring, brave soldier of the NOL would and vanquish the evil Ragna the Bloodedge I would be every so grateful! If only~"

"I heard it too! It came from this way!" The sound of footsteps rapidly drew closer.

"You are the WORST!" Ragna burst from his spot against the wall and sprinted as fast as his legs would carry him just as the NOL showed up at the opposite end of the hall.

"Here, here! He's down this way, gentleman!" Rachel called out now giggling up a storm. Well, Ragna didn't think it was nearly as funny. He just about had enough of it, too. "Quick! Save me! Save me-EEEEK!" The vampire shrieked when Ragna's hand suddenly and sharply made contact with her rear.

"I told you to shut up already!" Luckily the chase was coming to an end as Ragna spied his way out—namely the elevator. Wasting no time, the criminal dug the fingers of his free hand into the elevator door and tore in it open. After making sure the elevator itself wasn't below him, Ragna hopped right in without a second thought. As the fleeing pair quickly neared the bottom with the wind rushing pass them, Ragna drove his right hand into the side of the elevator shaft to slow their descent and spare his legs some soreness. The landing was rough, but nothing he couldn't handle. Ramming his fingers into the sliding doors of the elevator just like he did before, the criminal yanked the door aside and ran out into the light of the lobby ready to drink in some sweet fresh air.

"FREEZE!"

But, as his luck would have it, he was of course greeted with a room packed to the gills with nothing but NOL soldiers. The world sure had one nasty sense of humor.

Too bad for the Librarians that Ragna could be just as nasty.

More than ready to put an end to the morning's silly antics and take out his frustrations on something, Ragna snatched the sword from his hip and swung it out above his head.

"You want it? You got it! Slaughterhouse it is!" His bellow was enough to visibly shake the soldiers standing in his way.

"Now, now, no need to make a mess. Now that I've had my fun we can return home." And with a simple wave of Rachel's hand, Ragna found himself standing square in the middle of Alucard heiress' room. He was frozen in place, so utterly incapable of processing what just happened, that he offered up no resistance as Rachel wiggled out of his grasp and hopped down from his shoulder. She went about shrugging off the heavy coat and straightening out her hair while Ragna could do nothing more than lower his sword and blink.

He caught up eventually, though.

"What was that!?"

Rachel peered back at Ragna, feigning ignorance. "What was what…?"

"Why didn't you just teleport us from the start!?" Ragna yelled, finally finding the strength to step forward.

"I told you already, didn't I? I wanted to see you work. Besides that, you never asked me to teleport _both_ of us." Rachel said matter of factly as she passed by Ragna, patting his cheek. The man himself could only stand there opening and closing his mouth like a fish, completely unable to comprehend his lady's latest act of lunacy. She carried on business as usual though. "Now I am going to do what I intended to do from the start and freshen up. You are welcome to join me if you like, boy. You need to make it up to my poor backside, you know~"

"Screw that…I'm getting the other side! Come here!"

Ragna gave chase to his little rabbit, who could only giggle as she was scooped up once more and swept into her bathroom.

* * *

"Lord Kagura, we have a status update from the Grand regarding the Ragna the Bloodedge situation." The officer announced as he entered the room.

Kagura ran his hand through his hair. He really was going to have to give Ragna an earful the next time they hung out. The Black Knight had to wonder if the guy even understood half the work that was created every time he through a hissy fit. And, really, bumming a night in a hotel room? He couldn't even pick a run-down place that wouldn't ask twice if he wanted a place for the night? Hell, if he was going to make a habit of this, Kagura would be willing to just let Ragna crash at his place every once and a while.

But for now, he had a job to act interested in.

"Let's hear it, soldier."

"Aye, sir. We attempted to apprehend Ragna the Bloodedge in his room, but the attack failed and resulted in the death of two men. He managed to evade us and when he made it down to the lobby he must've used some sort of teleportation Ars because the report stated that he seemed to have vanished."

Kagura doubted that. He knew that even with the Azure Grimoire, Ragna could only manage the most basic of stuff. Regardless, the whole ordeal could've been worse from the sound of it. At least Ragna refrained from going on a rampage for a change.

"Understood. I appreciate the info, soldier. I'll be heading down to the Grand to check things out myself shortly." Kagura said as he rose from his seat. Honestly, he just wanted an excuse to get some fresh air.

"There was one last interesting detail to the report, sir. Unlike every other time Ragna the Bloodedge was sighted, he wasn't alone. He had a woman with him."

"…Go on." Now that he certainly wasn't expecting to hear. Ragna with a chick? There had to be an explanation.

"Yes, sir. When we confronted him in the hotel room, there was a woman on the bed. She made no significant movements and she was believed to be a civilian. Considering the situation, she was assumed to be a hostage of sorts, and it seemed to be confirmed when she was supposedly heard called for help. However, after reviewing security footage from the hotel's cameras, we believe she may have been an accomplice in some capacity. Here is a still that was taken." The officer handed Kagura a piece of paper.

There was going to be some stupid explanation, Kagura told himself as he took the photo. If anything, it was just going to be that cat girl, Tao, that Ragna mentioned follows him around from time to time. Yet when he laid his eyes on the picture, his jaw dropped and he fell right back in his seat. He couldn't believe it.

It had to be a prank.

He must have forgotten that he was drunk.

There was no other way he could explain why he was looking at a picture of Ragna running down a hall shirtless with none other than Rachel Alucard draped across his shoulder, wrapped tightly in his own coat as she looked like she had the time of her life. He knew the woman had a soft spot for Ragna but he already made it THIS far!? Has Ragna just been keeping secrets from him? Really, really good ones?

There was only one thing he knew for sure.

"Ragna, you lucky bastard…"

* * *

 **Hope everyone enjoyed. Review if you like.**


	4. Tummy Trouble

**Yeah, I'm still doing this.**

 **I don't own BlazBlue.**

* * *

Something stirred Ragna from his sleep and a quick pat down of the empty spot in the bed next to him instantly told him everything he needed to know. With a soft groan, he raised himself up on his arm and peeked open his right eye to take a look around the dark room. His little bunny was no where to be found. He did, however, see a light coming from under the closed bathroom door of her bedroom. Now, it is no secret Ragna sleeps about one hundred times better when he is with Rachel, but even he doesn't just snap awake the second she moves away from him so she had to have been up for more than a minute now.

Either way, it was time to investigate.

Yanking the covers away, the criminal stretched his legs out and hopped to his feet. He half wanted crawl back under the blanket after the cool air of the castle hit his bare upper body, but his curiosity had to be sated first. Ragna lazily crossed the room and approached the bathroom door. Without thinking twice, he grabbed on to the door handle and gave it a quick twist only to find it looked.

Weird, Ragna thought to himself. What reason would Rachel have to lock the door?

"Hey, Rachel?" The white-haired fellow asked as he gave the door a knock. "You in there?"

For a moment he was only met with silence. It even persisted to the point Ragna began considering it best to simply knock the door down. Then, just as he was bracing one foot against the floor so he could drive the other into the door, he heard a quiet and curt reply.

"Go back to sleep. I will be out shortly."

So, the door was staying up.

For now.

Still, Rachel was sounding way off to him. She sounded exhausted and even kinda pissed to boot. More investigation was clearly required.

"What are you doing in there? And why is the door locked anyway?" Ragna inquired.

"Excuse me? What reason could I possibly need to lock the door to the lavatory? In my own home, no less? Use your head, boy." Rachel's slightly muffled voice still bit back from her unseen position in the bathroom.

"Well, you know, its just you and me in here so its not like you got anything to hide. Plus, you're acting weird too." The criminal reasoned but that only earned him a long, dramatic sigh in response.

"Ragna, please, this is hardly…appropriate. I assure you I am perfectly fine, and am merely in need of some privacy. I will be out in just…a few minutes. Now, as I said, go back to sleep."

Just like that it all started adding up. The attitude? The locked door? Being up at the ungodly hour of the night? These factors all combined together gave Ragna an epiphany.

"You got the shits?"

Truly a revelation of great truth. Also, it led to the longest awkward pause yet. It carried on to the point Ragna actually thought he could hear the frogs out in the garden. Yet before he could follow through with reallocating the door from the wall to the floor, Rachel finally replied.

"…You are one irksome brat."

"Nail on the head, huh?" Ragna chuckled as he leaned against the wall. "So, what happened? Was your stomach buggin' you tonight?"

"This doesn't need to be a conversation…" Rachel muttered dismissively, but Ragna wasn't having it.

"Just answer the question, Rach." He knew the vampire could grumble all she wanted, and was actively doing so, but he also knew she was more than smart enough the recognizing the problem was the best solution as well.

"I…suppose I felt something amiss after we had dinner. It must've been that fettuccini alfredo… Which begs the question why you aren't having any trouble?" Rachel pointed out.

"Right? If Valkenhayn is poisoning anyone it's gonna be me. Bet that old bastard wishes I didn't have a magic arm." Ragna grinned a bit, thinking his snark would help the situation.

"Mm, nevertheless remind me to have Valkenhayn reexamine our food supply starting with all dairy products." If Rachel was receptive to it, however, she gave no tell.

"What? And make the geezer kill himself?" Ragna snorted.

"Don't be ridiculous. Valkenhayn may be considered overly passionate by some but he still…still…" Rachel cut herself off when another groan abruptly escaped her mouth. The criminal got more curious when Rachel didn't continue her thought and gave a quick knock to the door to hopefully grab her attention.

"Hey, you still there? That sounded like a big one."

"Would you _stop_ already? This is a delicate matter which decent adults do not find the need to focus on and discuss in such repugnant detail, you baboon!" Rachel was about as close to shrieking as Ragna has ever heard from her.

"Oh, relax, baby. Everybody poops." Ragna waved it off. Then, before Rachel could unleash a new tirade, "I mean it, though, Rachel. It's the same for everyone and this shit is never fun… Uh, no pun intended."

"…You lie through your teeth."

Ragna thought it best to smother his laugh this time or Rachel might actually start getting upset for real. Which was all well and good for the criminal. He gave the door one last quick knock before strolling his way toward the bedroom door.

"I'm gonna go grab something. I'll be right back so don't get up, ya hear?" And with that, he strolled out of the room and down the hall before he would get a good earful of Rachel's wrath.

* * *

It wasn't long before Rachel's stomach was finally settled enough for her venture from her bathroom and slowly drag herself toward her bed on legs still half asleep. Part of her much rather take a bath before climbing back into bed, unable to stand the sheen of sweat on her body that was making her gown stick to her, but she was much too worn out to bother with something like that right now. Her only thought was catching up on her sleep, but instead her attention was pulled toward her bedroom door opening to reveal her insufferable boy toy with a glass and plate in hand.

"Bold of you to waltz by so casually after you mocked me so." Rachel glared at him as she took a seat on the edge of her bed.

"Come on, I was just trying to lighten things up." Ragna explained sitting down next to her before offering the plate in his hand. "Here."

Rachel raised an eyebrow at the offering. Never mind it was just a couple regular pieces of toast, albeit well toasted, but why was he trying to give her food at all?

"I just spent over an hour…preoccupied in the lavatory, and you bring me food?" Rachel questioned.

"You bet. Toast helps settle your stomach. I used to do this all the time when I was a kid so just trust me, okay?" Ragna insisted as he set the plate on Rachel's lap.

And, truly, she couldn't argue with him there. The fact Ragna knows how to be an excellent care giver would be an easy thing for most to forget considering he is seen as one of the most terrifying figures in the history of the world, but Rachel was not most people. She was one of the only people who were privy to Ragna's gentle side and it wasn't a feature of his she was going to soon forget.

Not to mention if there was anyone she trusted outside of Valkenhayn it would be Ragna.

"Very well." Rachel sighed and picked up a piece to start nibbling at. It also didn't hurt that the man was also quite skilled at preparing virtually any food, of course.

Once she was about halfway through her first piece, Ragna handed her the glass of water he was holding. She sipped at the water until she finished her snack leaving about half the beverage left, but when she moved to hand it back to Ragna he instead lightly pushed it back towards her.

"Finish it. Water is also good for this. It'll keep you hydrated and help flush out what was making you sick." Ragna explained though he took the plate and put it over on the nightstand.

"I'm sure I drank enough. I don't wish to have yet another reason to be repeatedly awoken tonight." The vampire was adamant about giving up the glass, but Ragna wasn't having it.

"You rather be pissing or shitting?" He asked simply.

"…Always with such vulgarity." Rachel rolled her eyes but was too drained to argue back at this point.

It took a couple goes, but Rachel finished off the last of her water and this time Ragna took the glass from her without any prompting. Then, before Rachel could move herself, Ragna picked her up in his arms and made a point to lie her down on her left side.

"There. Laying on your left helps digestion too, you know?"

"Psychosomatic, I'm sure." Rachel mumbled though wasn't about to complain when Ragna climbed into bed behind her, and draped his arm over her.

"Hey, if it works then don't question it." Ragna reason as he started softly rubbing circles on her stomach to help soothe her.

Rachel had to admit that even with all of her…less mentionable troubles tonight she wasn't hating the treatment now, and she was more than ready to get some sleep. When she started snuggling deeper into her bed, Ragna took the hint and pulled her closer to him as well to get her as comfortable as possible.

"This was all very sweet of you." Rachel whispered without looking at the criminal.

"That right?" Ragna asked halfheartedly mid yawn.

"To your point before, I am well aware that most people would have an aversion to confronting these types of dilemmas especially when they are someone else's." Despite living in a closed off castle most her life, Rachel understood quite easily how the majority of people would rather avoid even their most loved ones under such circumstances.

"Hm, I guess that's one way to look at it. I don't see a problem, though. No one is at the top of their game _all_ the time. Besides…" Ragna closed his eyes and buried his face into Rachel's hair. "If a man can't take care of his woman when she's not feeling great than he can't call himself a man at all."

That certainly made Rachel smile.

"Thank you, Ragna."

"Don't sweat it, baby. Let's get some shut eye already. Tomorrow I will make you something easy on the stomach for breakfast. You know…if Valkenhayn doesn't shove his head in the oven."

Now that her mood had improved, Rachel couldn't help but giggle at his little quips, and she finally went back to some well-earned sleep after her loving man planted a kiss on the top of her head.

And with how lucky Ragna made her feel to have him, Rachel was sure to return the favor tomorrow night.

* * *

 **For the record, Valkenhayn didn't put his head in the oven. He went full yakuza and cut off his pinky.**

 **Review if you like.**


	5. Happy Billionth

**Well, someone had to give Rachel the birthday she deserved.**

 **I do not own Blazblue.**

* * *

 _As the years go by…_

"Hey, kid, ya got any idea what day it is?" Jubei's sudden question gained not only the attention of a young Ragna, but also one Lady Rachel who was sitting nearby sipping her tea under the shade of a tree.

"Huh? Oh, uh, it's the 31st, right? So, that means…" Ragna hummed as he caught his breath from their latest sparring match. "Its Halloween, yeah? Never thought about it much because the sister always went on about how it was satanic or some shit. Didn't want us celebrating it."

"She didn't like ya swearin' either, but that never stopped ya none." The old cat gave his ill-mannered student an accusing look.

"Yeah, whatever. What about Halloween, Master?" Ragna asked out of curiosity, but Rachel could already tell where things were heading.

"It ain't 'bout Halloween, kid. Today's a certain little lady's birthday." Jubei side eyed Rachel, who was doing her best to blend in to the Autumn foliage, but Ragna got the hint anyway.

"You mean… It's the rabbit's birthday?" The young man raised an eyebrow as he followed Jubei's gaze.

With the unwanted attention on her, Rachel couldn't help but sigh as she made her tea cup disappear and approached the two men.

"Yes, indeed it is. Although, Jubei, while your thoughtful consideration is…let's say appreciated, I dare say it is rather unnecessary. I hardly celebrate the occasion anymore." Rachel spoke plainly. It was true, too. Anything would get boring after so long, and yes that includes celebrating one's own birth.

"Ah, c'mon, don't go bein' such a stick in the mud." Jubei shot back.

"Mmm, nah, I think I know what she means, Master. I mean, nothing is fun after a billion times!" Ragna snickered, feeling the need to pat himself on the back for his own joke.

Rachel, on the other hand, was not nearly as amused.

And she showed as much with a quick bolt of lightning touching down mere inches away from Ragna's face. He couldn't help but shriek like a girl and stumble back as a result.

"Well, I'm not to sure about that, boy. You certainly seem to be positively tickled pink to make a fool of yourself for the billionth or so time." Rachel smiled triumphantly as the object of her amusement leapt back to his feet and stomped forward to stick his face in hers.

"Bet I'll be having a lot more fun after I kick your ass for the billionth time too!" The perpetually angry teen seethed.

"I do believe you will have to accomplish that at least once before making such claims, young man." Rachel practically sang back.

"Alright, you two, I think that'll do it. C'mon, kid, we still got plenty to do." Jubei beckoned Ragna back to the training field, to which the budding young warrior begrudgingly obliged. "And all the same to ya, Rachel, I do hope ya have a good day by yer standards."

"Yeah… Happy billionth birthday, Rabbit." Ragna stuck his tongue out but Rachel could tell that he actually did mean it in his own, childish way.

Which earned him a curtsy.

"My thanks, both of you. I'm sure I will have a positively delightful time." Rachel said knowing full well she would.

After all, any day they could spend together was a good one to her.

* * *

 _Many things may change…_

"Rachel! Hey, Rachel!" The infamous criminal yelled at the sky from his seat by the riverside. He didn't have to wait long at all until the one and only Queen of the Vampires appeared before him.

"You know, it is hardly proper for the master to be at the beck and call of the servant." Rachel huffed in derision.

"Yeah, but you always show up anyway because what kind of stalker would you be otherwise, right?" Ragna lazily fired back, rising to his feet.

Ever so slightly, Rachel's lip curled into the smallest of smiles.

"Oh, Ragna, I must confess you caught me red handed! I simply cannot resist your off-putting scowl, unkept mop of hair or that bit of food you have kept stuck in your teeth since last we spoke. How could any woman ever pass on a catch like you?" Rachel overacted, circling around Ragna and making doe eyes at the man.

He tried, yet failed, to subtly pick at his teeth using his tongue before readdressing the snooty little vampire.

"Always such a mouth…" Ragna muttered before digging a small box out of his pocket. "You don't really deserve this, but I can't exactly take it back so here."

The criminal stuffed the tiny package into Rachel's hand and quickly shuffled a short distance away to let her open her present. She eyed the velvet box before shooting a smile Ragna's way.

"You stole this, didn't you?"

"Nope. Won the lottery. Just open the damn thing already." Ragna said without turning back to face her.

Deciding to comply, Rachel popped the container open. What she saw surprisingly delighted her. For the lack of a better word, the earrings were nothing short of spectacular. White gold embedded into the metal plating sparkled under the light while the large ruby planted in the middle of the fitted metal reflected gently under the sun.

"Why, Ragna, these are actually…impressive." Rachel said without an ounce of sass.

"Yeah, well, you know… Just saw them and thought of you." The man let his voice trail off more and more as he spoke, but there was no escaping Rachel's hearing.

"Is that so?" Rachel sauntered up behind the criminal. "And what about them brought about thoughts of myself?"

"The, uh, red…just…made me think of your eyes, alright!? What's with the third degree, damn!" Ragna hurried out the last bit as quickly as possible.

Rachel wanted to call attention to how the red matched his own face better than her eyes at the moment but she would let him have this one. Teleporting the box away, Rachel took her gift in hand and affixed the jewelry to her ears.

"So? How do they look, Ragna?" Rachel called out.

The most wanted man in the world peeked back over his shoulder and was rewarded with a dazzling eyeful of his own. Though it was hard to say which was more so.

The way she wore those earrings or the smile on her face.

He didn't have to say that though.

"…About what I expected." Ragna hurriedly dragged his collar up as he turned away. "Anyway, I screwed around enough here. I'm gonna hit the road. Go home and have some cake or something."

Rachel smiled even wider at her favorite boy's awkward antics.

"Very well. My thanks, Ragna." Rachel watched his retreating form as he gave her a wave.

"Happy billionth birthday, Rachel."

* * *

 _But one thing will always be certain…_

It was early in the morning, hard to tell with the perpetual moonlight of Rachel's realm as it might be, but Ragna was still stirring from his sleep despite the ungodly hour. The man of Azure groaned as he cracked an eye open to look down at his favorite bunny buried in his chest.

Ragna sluggishly readjusted his arms to pull the vampire close enough to plant a kiss on the top of her head, which was plenty to wake her as well.

She yawned a quiet 'good morning' to her man as he raised up on an elbow.

"Happy billionth, baby." Ragna smirked to himself.

While the line itself wasn't in the slightest bit funny, his sheer dedication to the bit tickled Rachel despite her best efforts. It was quite literally every year without fail. It was stupid and childish, but showed a measure of care in its own way as well. He hardly cared to celebrate or even remember practically anyone else's birthday so she was right pleased with the attention she got for hers.

Although, Ragna trying to get up so soon just wouldn't do.

The criminal shifted to a sitting position on his side of the bed, but just as quickly Rachel snaked her arms around his neck and whined at him.

"Where do you think you're going, boy?"

"Gotta get started on your breakfast. Me and that old sack of skin actually planned a bunch of stuff for you today. He'll probably give me an earful if I'm not down there so I'll need you to hop off." Ragna gently ordered.

"Hmm…" Rachel hummed before nuzzling into his neck. "What if I rather spend the entire day in bed with you~?"

Oh, Ragna would be lying if he said it wasn't tempting as all hell, but he had a plan, dammit. He easily pulled her from his back and laid her down on the bed again, all while placating her with a lingering kiss to the lips. It kept her from putting up a fight and Ragna took the chance to pull away to a leaning position on the edge of the bed.

"Don't worry, Rachel. After giving Jeeves a hand in the kitchen I'll be back up and I promise to spoil you… All. Day. Long." Ragna whispered sensually as he dragged a hand down her side.

"I advise you don't keep a lady waiting then." Rachel commanded.

"Yes, ma'am." Ragna got up to his feet properly and made for the door. "Be back before you know it, babe."

Rachel watched the criminal stroll out and practically sighed dreamily like a love drunk teenager. Though she couldn't help herself, really. She had treated her own birthday as something not particularly special for many years, but that all changed when the young rebel became part of her life. Yes, just like always, he seemed to make what she once considered a mundane occasion to a pleasant little excuse for fun.

No matter if the gesture was big or small, having Ragna in her life always made for a happy birthday.

 _And that is how much I love you._

* * *

 **As always, review if you like. Happy Halloween, everyone.**


End file.
